Sunday, January 23, 2011
it's reallyreally scary how fast time is flying that i think the word 'scary' isn't good enough to describe it alr.
it's my birthday nxt wk! 0.0
and exactly a wk aft tt we'll all be celebrating cny. :D
i still feel as if i just came back from hk.
so much has happened in this 3wks.
like how crazily busy it got at work.
totally broke my record this wk with 54 calls lol.
the feeling of having to ans a call straight aft you release the previous one gets really tiring and sian aft awhile.
have been feeling vexed over smth new.
my mum is right.
you'll feel troubled by it despite having or nt having it.
i needa think of how to put a stop to this before the situation gets out of hand.
i'm trying to do this slowly.
i'm sorry that i have to harden my heart.
if i'm soft-hearted now i won't be the one who would suffer in the long run and i'd be very cruel.
and all this really came at the wrong time.
also, i've been thinking a lot abt how soon dear kris will be leaving for aussie.
and i'll feel really sad abt it. )):
no more uber long msgs and impromptu outings with her.
one less person for me to rant to.
I AM GG TO MISS YOU LOADS GIRL! )):
keep in touch! love you!!
on a lighter note, i've been having some really good times with all my beloved friends. (:
some of my ex-colleagues act gave me an early bday surprise on thu. (:
with a cake from icing room which they decorated themselves and their beat-box bday song LOL.
it was really sweet! :D
spent fri night with my dearest bff.
the nacho cheese fries from best fries forever was oh so heavenly albeit sinful. :D
and playing pool with her and talking abt everything under the sun was just so awesome.
i miss the days when we would spend time tgt like this.
i'm glad tt our friendship is still gg strong.
4yrs and counting. :D
met up with stm part ytd night.
it was a really short meet up but i love the way we can talk non-stop abt everything. :D
went shopping at bugis st which was freaking crowded lol.
didn't manage to get anything roar.
i want a new bag!
idk where i shld get it from though. hmm.
but i'm glad tt i finally got my new yr clothes! :D
this mth has been a really busy but fruitful one so far and i'm loving it! :D
exactly 4 more days of work at my current workplace and i'll be liberated!
time to find a new job though LOL.
it's been 5 yrs. i can't believe it.
but anyhow i believe that you're doing fine up there in heaven along with everyone else.
i hope that you will continue to watch over us, esp dear mum.
i just want you to know that you will always be in my heart,
forever and ever.
i love you.
Monday, December 13, 2010
aft that horrible saturday the last time,
i've cheered up a lot.
hahaha.
awesome music is really therapeutic to my soul. =D
those little posts on my fb wall,
they may not mean anything to others,
but they totally make my day. (:
they remind me that i still have lots of wonderful friends out there which i love.
everyone is busy with their own lives now and it may be difficult to keep in touch but i guess things will turn out alright as long as we make an effort to do so.
i can't wait to get back to my 'normal' life.
i miss studying and i miss school!
i miss making so many friends almost everyday.
jc was definitely the best and worst part of my schooling life so far lol.
i also have a love-hate rls with taking a leap year.
another 4mths plus or so left before i finally get to uni.
nth is totally confirmed yet.
but one sch has accepted me and another has accepted me provisionally.
i'll definitely have somewhere to go to unlike here. (:
may God grant me the strength to stay positive and not to emo anymore during this remaining time.
Saturday, December 04, 2010
something in me died.
either that or my life is really far too mundane alr.
idk what's happening to me.
dun ask me why i'm so emo.
i won't know where to begin.
idk who to talk to anymore.
sometimes i wonder if it's better if i shut myself up in my own world.
so that i dun need to bug the same ppl with all the depressing stuff every time.
i shld just leave the unhappiness to myself.
if there's one thing i learnt through this exp,
it's that it's really not easy to be diff from the rest.
be it my life now or at work.
you can't stop ppl from talking abt you.
and you can't keep all the unpleasant remarks away.
i feel that there's a social stigma attached to this.
i'm so incoherent right now.
i ought to stop right here.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
aft almost 7 mths of not posting here i suddenly feel like posting here again.
i haven't been in a good mood lately cos of many things.
and i'm so sorry if i've been troubling you so much with all my depressing msgs.
which is why sometimes i wonder if i shld just keep everything to myself,
but unfortunately i'm not someone who is able to do that.
so i'm so sorry if i've been a nuisance and mood-spoiler to you.
i really need to do smth abt my life right now.
if you think taking a gap year is really fun, think again.
i'd much rather be dying from studying right now.
working life is totally not exciting.
i can understand why ppl would much rather continue studying than to join the workforce.
with sucha diff life from others i feel that i've got nth much in common with my peers anymore.
my life is so mundane and so i've become more quiet under certain circumstances.
everyone has so much to share,
but i've really got that little or nth to share at all.
i've been feeling so alone,
more and more lately.
i expected this to happen but it still hit me really hard when it did.
everyone has their own lives to lead,
so i can't blame anyone for anything.
sometimes all you've got is yourself.
this is prob a lesson from God.
and i shall pull myself out from the wallows of misery and emerge even stronger.
idk why i'm so bothered act,
cos i found out that the world is not a bed of roses when i was only 9.
so many things have happened in my life since then.
i shall look forward to the exciting things that will happen in my life in a few mths' time,
and just live life to the fullest in the meantime.
i shall find things to keep myself occupied.
may the Lord grant me the strength to walk down this path and to mould me into a better person through all these experiences.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
it's amazing how your words always hurt me so deeply.
i thought that you were supposed to be on my side.
i thought that you understood me the best on this planet.
but i'm so wrong.
now i feel that you dun even understand me at all.
ever wondered why i stopped telling you so much abt what's happening in my life?
it's because of the comments and reactions i get from you when i tell you.
you can turn black into white.
i think that if you could, you'd hit the rewind button,
turn my whole life upside down,
and make me live it the way you want me to.
i'm sorry that i'm not perfect.